things i love about this city

Ok. So you all know that Dallas isn't necessarily my ideal place to live. I'm more of the hick country girl at heart than the fast-paced city slicker. Which is part of why hubs and I fit together so well. But should God ever call us away from this amalgamation of concrete and steel, there are many, many things I will miss about this place I have called home for the last 8 years. (I even have bullet points!)

• Skyline. I love the Dallas skyline, how from any angle of the city you are immediately dwarfed by the granduer of the tall buildings in all shapes and forms as you drive into downtown. (The uniqueness of places like Reunion Tower and the Crescent Building...)
• City Lights. Very similar to the Dallas skyline are the lights of the city. Darkness never really falls in Dallas, and for someone whose greatest all time fear is darkness, this sets very well with me. Although I do miss the stars.
• Dallas Mavericks. Overpriced seats in the upper deck. Lights go dim, and the team rushes out onto the court as their very familiar theme music plays in the background. Screams from the fans for defense, rebounds, bad calls, amazing 3 point shots from the center of the court. Hubs and I formed half of our relationship in those nosebleed seats in the upper deck of the AAC... we love this team. We bring the fanatic back into the fan.
• Dallas Cowboys. It's football, people. Nothing more really needs to be said. I do love the way this town shuts down every Sunday afternoon when the 'Boys play. Where else would you be but in your favorite chair or at Pluckers (Buffalo chicken strips!) with a cold drink in your hand and a few of your craziest friends around you, watching the game?
• Dallas Stars. Ok. So it's not all about the sports. But seriously, it's Texas. We love all of our sports teams around here!
• Central Expressway. I love interstate 75. It just... flows. The traffic, the crazy decisions in the middle of the week to shut down various lanes for no significant reason, the oddly designed entrance and exit ramps that nobody knows how they keep traffic flowing but somehow, they just do. It's the best artery in Dallas. (Did I mention the High 5?)
• Sushi. No matter what time of night, there is always somewhere you can go to settle your sushi craving. We eat a lot of sushi. It's available and fresh. Something tells me most places, even cities, don't have the sushi availability that this place does.
• The Dart Rail. It's the train that connects everything downtown to everything not downtown. And at 5pm, it's the easiest way to get downtown fast when you need to get there. It's also the best way to get to the AAC, as it drops all of the crazy Mavs and Stars fans off - right at the front door.

I could go on, but I'll save some stuff for later. It just occurs to me sometimes that I spend a lot of time referring to the Big D like a shoe that doesn't quite fit, but there are some things that get my heart pumping when I think about this metropolis.

it's how i roll

It's after hours in these hallowed halls. Quiet has entered the building... funny how when everybody else exits, that's when quiet comes in. She's subtle, creeping in and spreading her fingers into each office as workers depart.

And she must be stopped. Why? Because I'm still here. Still clacking away on my keyboard, concerned that if I don't stop her from taking over, she will soon be too strong for me and I will succumb to her bait of sleepiness. So I blast my music from my worn computer speakers, trying to hold her coming off for another 15 or 20 minutes, until I can go home. So bring it on, Weezer. Bon Jovi. The Monkees. You are my last remaining friends as twighlight dwindles. Stay with me as I work late into the evening... and hedge the coming of quiet with me until tomorrow.

Rock'n'Roll, people. I'm working late again! Happy 7 month anniversary, hubs! See you whenever class releases you and my work slows enough for me to slip out without catching the eye of the stacks of paper on my desk.

UPDATE: It's about 15 minutes later, and "our song" just came on from my playlist. Wow, how depressing am I to be sitting in my office, by myself, listening to our song, on our 7 month anniversary. I really need to go home.

taco mania

I hate it when people go for long periods of time without posting on their blog site. It's annoying when I log in first thing in the morning, check my emails and voicemail, and then set about to the highlight of my morning activities... checking my favorite blogs for updates while sipping my coffee. It helps me start my day. So how hard is it when I go, expecting to get a fresh jumpstart on my day, and find that nobody has posted anything new. It has the ability to cause my day to go downhill from there. All that to say, sorry guys. I'm sorry if I've ruined ya'lls days lately by not being very current. Something called "a full day's work" keeps getting in my way.

SO... Today for lunch I took hubs with Steph, Pres and I to the best taco place in the Metroplex. It's taco heaven, people. I mean, I've eaten a lot of tacos (being a Texan, of course I eat tacos), but these are the best "bought" tacos you can get. They are sold in the back of a gas station off Industrial near the Dallas county jail. Yes, I'm serious. Fuel City, the Fina station off Industrial at 30 has the best tacos I've ever eaten. Today was hubs first time to go there with me, and now he's completely sold on them. Mmmm... so good.

Last night Marz and I went to see Atonement which was a great movie, but not at all what we were expecting (and what the heck is up with my italics button key? It's all backwards and working funny...). We were expecting something along the lines of Pride and Prejudice and we GOT something along the lines of Pride and Depression - no wait, make that Prideless Depression. If you haven't seen the movie (this italics thing is messing up my head), go. It's a great story. Just watch Zoolander before you go or something... you'll need it. But girls night out was fun, I got to dress up in my jeans and favorite boots and my black velure jacket, and we were successful at having a grand time, even if the movie was a downer.

Today I'm back at work, writing emails and scheduling appointments, and wishing I could go home and take a snoozer since movie-girl night left me kinda sleepy this morning. Oh, and I didn't sleep well last night. I had crazy bad dreams about vampire hybrids (part I Am Legend diseased people, part 30 Days of Night vampires) chasing us and killing everybody that hubs and I hold dear, followed by a dream about hubs accidentally shooting me thinking I was breaking into the house (weird dream), followed by a dream about a tornado and a close call to a farmhouse that hubs and I apparently own out in middle of nowhere Oklahoma. All of these were very different dreams, but all had the recurring theme of MY IMPENDING DOOM. I have no idea what it all means... and quite assuredly, I don't really want to know. So, other than the fact that these dreams disturbed what otherwise would have been a peaceful night's sleep, I haven't given them a second thought today (well... maybe I haven't given them an eighth thought today - they were weird dreams, people).

Now I journey back from blog-world to works-for-a-living world to keep scheduling appointments and writing emails until the clock finally releases me from my responsibilies and sends me home where I am determined to dream of nothing but fields of daffodils all night long. So good day, people, and good night, too. Sweet dreams.

outside the box

Not everybody can come face-to-face with a lion and live to tell about it. Good thing for me this one was made of stone.

Don't really want to be at work today. Funny how hard it is coming back after a sick day sometimes. It's not that I just want to lay around in my pajamas all day... well, yes. Yes it is. But, seriously, it's ok to be at work today. I need to be at work, it's good for me.

My coworker, Caty, keeps getting calls from South Korea. We don't actually know what the person is calling about because it is, in fact, in Korean. I think we decided this morning that it must be someone drunk dialing. Or perhaps a terrorist threat. Hmmm...

I had another slight vertigo spell yesterday. It wasn't as bad, but since there is nothing terribly pressing at work this week, hubs convinced me that resting and taking a little vertigo break would be the best idea. He was right... I feel much better today and am ready to get back to work. I like it when Hubs talks me into doing stuff that turns out to be really good for me, but that I never would have done on my own. He's so good for me!

K. I'm out now. See ya!

happy, happier, happiest

Thinking can be good for me sometimes. Although often my pensive personality can drag me down by overthinking problems, there are times when thinking and reflecting can actually make me happy.

Take today, when I was mulling how much I hate the project I'm working on here at the office, and the phone rang. It was a couple looking to set up a premarital appt with temp boss. The guy on the phone was all nervous and excited and all those little emotions that newly engaged couples go through...

I hung up the phone after talking to him and smiled. What a great adventure he's heading for! Engagement was stressful for hubs and I, because we were trying to do too much (which is an all-to-common problem we have). But marriage... that's the best thing we've ever done. I was just emailing with hubs about just that. As tough as marriage is - even for newlyweds - with the petty disagreements over stupid stuff, and for hubs and I the first 6 months have brought my health issues and learning new ways to care for one another... but even with all of the tough stuff, marriage is very, very good. I can say without a doubt that my decision to marry hubs was the best, most rewarding decision I've ever made. He completes me, he leads me gently, kindly, and directly as the head of our household, and he totally cracks me up. We laugh together all the time. From the silly songs we sing in the car to the accidental goof-ups that both of us are prone to, we never go a day without laughter.

Funny, I thought I loved hubs when we got married 6 months ago... and I did... but so much more fully developed is that love now! I can't wait to see what we look like in 10, 25, 50 years. He's incredible - not perfect - but the best husband I could have ever dreamed of being blessed with.

breathing

I'm taking a moment's break in the midst of chaos in which to collect myself before moving on to more of this week's insanity. It's one of those moments where I pause to wonder... could it really get worse from here? Surely at this point things can only start going up!

This has been the week from down under in regard to work, and a large program that I'm working on the last minute organization for before it kicks off (ready or not) on Monday at 6:30am. Since one of my beloved coworkers (and dearest friends) departed our hallowed halls last month in search of a job on the side of the Metropolis closer to her hubby, I have been given the arduous task of temporarily filling her shoes (on top of what I'm already doing here) until they hire a replacement for her. This in itself would be a great source of stress in the life of one already overwhelmingly busy. However, add to it the many things that have gone very, very wrong this week, and you have what I now am: stressed out and seriously considering walking out the door and not returning until next Tuesday - and then sticking my fingers in my ears and running away, screaming, every time anyone mentions the said program that is to begin on Monday. Childish? Yes. Effective? Possibly.

Things that have gone wrong this week:

• Monday - I discovered that the two boxes of 45 workbooks (each) that are supposed to be in our closet over at the church had gone missing.
• Tuesday - boxes were still missing, so I tore apart every single closet at the church searching, and, after turning up nothing in my 2 hour search, half-yelled, half-cried at the facilities director that if they weren't found by my 2pm meeting with my temp boss that I was going to get fired (which was not true, although it may have felt true). After this episode, I promptly discovered that the box of brochures (which was supposed to have arrived last Thursday), had still not been delivered. I then stormed off to my office where I called, for the third time in 2 days, the place that was supposed to deliver them and told them that if they couldn't deliver them by 1pm, I would come pick them up myself. They assured me that they could (and they did!). After I hung up the phone with them, I received a call from the facilites director that they had found the boxes - in a back storage building stuffed under about 20 other boxes. I resisted the urge to personally find and beat up the staff person who had asked that they be moved, and 1 1/2 hours later entered my meeting with temp boss - calm, cool, collected, as if everything was running smoothly.
• Wednesday - Things were running smoothly, despite the 4 hours of meetings I sat through all afternoon. Then I lost my keys in the church building - the security guard found them. After that, I scheduled temp boss a meeting with a man named Bud Felker... but in telling him about it I mixed up my "u" and my "el" and wound up saying his name as... well... you can figure that one out. It was humiliating.
• Thursday (today) - I sat down this morning to email the power point presentation, which was supposed to have been completed and left for me, to our A/V guys for setup, and discovered that the file would not open. After leaving that project with the already overloaded IT guy, I left to pick up the banners that were supposed to be hung today from the banner making place. Picked them up, took them to our facilities director, and promptly discovered that they were done WRONG. Mind you, these have to be hung in time for Monday morning. Since I had a lunch meeting that started while we were discovering this, the facilities director kindly offered to take them back to be redone after I gave him a desperate and pitiful look. Promptly after my lunch meeting, I picked up the box of brochures (same box that I was waiting for on Tuesday), filled the info racks, and walked out the church door only to step off the first concrete step and fall down the next 4, somehow managing to keep from spilling the contents of my box.

So that's where I am now, sitting at my computer taking a breather from the chaos... my toushy and back throbbing with the impact of concrete steps, trying to get that document to open so that I can save the presentation for Monday.

I need a margarita and a hot bubble bath when I get home.

a time of great rejoicing

Regardless of what occurred on Friday, my doctor still elected to take me off the valium yesterday.

No more weird moody me. No more so exhausted when I wake up in the morning I want another night's sleep me. Instead, I have found new ways to keep myself exhausted all day, in the form of a temporarily adjusted job description at work. So now instead of being medicinally exhausted, I have reason. Which is, indeed, better.

Maybe someday I'll find a way to feel rested. But, then, I'm not sure I'd recognize that if it ever did occur. I'd probably go to the doctor thinking I was sick or something. In the meantime, praise the Lord for good news and a relief from the nasty medicine.

final exam?

If that was my final exam I took on Friday, I think I might have to retake the class.

So here I am. It's been a year since the vertigo started, 6 months since I've been on the medications that have wreaked all sorts of havoc on my emotions and physical body. As of Friday, it was 3 months since my last vertigo spell. And in my mind and heart, I was doing so well with trusting the Lord. He healed me! He used the medication to make me well. The Lord was my rock, my strong shelter. I have a doctor's appointment at 1:30 today (Monday), and I was so confident that because of my 3 months of no vertigo on the meds that I was going to hear the glorious news that the meds are over.

At 8am on Friday morning, though, my world started spinning. Literally. I tipped my head back to kiss my sweet-n-handsome hubs goodbye as he left for work and my world came crashing down as I hit the bed in a wave of spinning nausea. I had a vertigo spell. It was short, probably no more than 30 seconds of spinning, but this hurled me into a 20 minute fit that could top even some of the most practiced 2 year olds. I screamed. I cried. I wailed into my pillow. I turned my teary, snotty-nosed face toward my hubs and whimpered pitifully, "Why now?" And I moped and pouted until I finally went back to sleep and slept off the spinny's before heading into work for a half-day.

Suddenly I realize how little I've learned. It's easy to jump up and down on the mountain top and praise the Lord when you feel like He's done for you exactly what you wanted Him to do. But when suddenly I realized that maybe what He's doing doesn't fit into the neat little category that I wanted it to then it dawned on me that I really didn't have it all straight, after all.

I remember when I was learning to drive, my Dad used to talk to me when I was going around curves. He would always say not to just hold the wheel in one direction, because that would often cause the car to go around the curve slightly off and you might wind up in the ditch. Nor should you make big movements on a curve, because that could cause you to lose control all together. Instead, as you go around the curve it's necessary to make little corrections all along the way.

Well, I just had to make a little correction, but that one little correction could have possibly determined the outcome of the curve for me. Lord, it's in your hands. Again. Even if you choose to not heal me, or to leave me on this horrid medicine for 6 more months, or whatever you decide, I'm once again reminded that this isn't about me. And I couldn't control it... even if I tried.

random details

My coworker has walked by my office three times now, shook her head, and turned back to her office for what she has forgotten.

I just swallowed a cherry pit. Not on purpose, but I was so excited about the yummy cherries I was eating that I accidentally swallowed a pit. Now I keep wondering how that thing is going to pass through my system, and then I get grossed out and decide that I really don't want to know.

Our front desk receptionist sounds a little like the receptionist on Office Space, "Please hoooold..."

I had a rock in my shoe all morning. Caught in the heel of my boot where it is so worn down and hollow, and that rock rattled every time I took a step. I absolutely destroyed and mangled a large paper clip, but I finally retrieved the perpetrator and have found relief when I walk again.

The New Year brought a decision to diet (or really just to eat healthy and exercise more), a decision which I am actually pretty pumped about. Healthy food can be really good and fun. And I'm excited about the prospect of being skinnier.

The rest of my day would be far too boring if I tried to put it down on paper, so I will end there. At least you all got to share the fascinating parts with me (yes, I know that it is very sad that those are the fascinating parts of my day). Christmas was awesome, should have more details for you on that later. New Year is starting out very well, although it's a little bit of a drag to come back to work, mostly because I just liked being able to lay around the house and stay in my pajamas until 2pm. But the Lord has blessed me with work, and I must be grateful for the opportunity to earn money for such things as food, rent, and 2-for-1 DVD's at Amazon.com.

Happy New Year, folks, glad to have you along as I tell you the tale of my life in 2008.