my vaporous existence

Ironically this post follows the only other little blidget that I have posted on this blog, an introductory statement written almost a year ago when this cathartic outlet was first conceived.

Which becomes obviously ironic as I explore the depths of my thinking from the past couple of days. Inasmuch as I could often be described as introspective and introverted, I still struggle with my lack of true, deep soul searching. It is very easy for me to trudge along through life's highs and lows never even giving thought to the essence of my existence. I just keep going through the motions of worship, even meditation on God and His grace toward me, and the motions of everyday monotony that makes up the majority of our existence. Truth be told, at the end of one's life who can really look back and say that every day, month, year, decade was made up of endless exciting and memorable days? Instead, having been exposed often to discussion with those who are looking at their inevitable and impending demise (years of nursing home ministry and a short stint of work for a local hospital have lended my ear in that direction), I would have to concur that most of one's life is instead made up by years of monotony climaxing in little "spurts" of the exciting and memorable.

So all of that to say... what? Not the usual "I want my life to be different, to count for something," but instead, what if I were to say that the monotony counts for something? Perhaps God did not design us for incessant memorable moments, but instead had a greater purpose in mind for the monotony. Why else would Ecclesiastes abundantly comment on the vanity of life? Yet still the grace and goodness of God prevails in that uber depressing document.
The point remains that from the cradle to the grave there exists in the human spirit a need to "make something of themselves" or "make life count." If I had more money, or was famous, or wrote a best-seller, or lost weight, then people would notice me. But instead, have we ever considered that life is "vanity" and "vaporous" because God has designed our fallen humanity to be nothing more than that? How many times in Scripture is it reiterated that the value in our lives is not what we do (in fact, isn't our righteousness as filthy rags?) but instead lies in our identity, those who have been called since before the foundations of the earth and have, as such, been found "in Christ" for all of eternity? ETERNITY!

So what is the key to holding loosely to our vaporous existence while holding onto our self-worth? Jesus' brother gives us the scoop in his letter, James 4:13-16, "Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit.' Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, 'If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.' As it is , you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil."

James is not telling us to live depressed lives, fearing death and every bend in the road and making no plans on the assumption that we will all die very soon. No, quite the opposite. He is instead spurring us on to the realization that our existence is much more than what we are doing today, or tomorrow, etc. Our existence lies in the hands of our Creator and Sustainer. Far more than making our lives count for something, he's showing that our lives were already made to count for something. And that far outweighs the actions of a vain a vaporous life.

So, Lord willing, next week I will post again.