I think I have achieved a certain level of insanity. Seriously. How did I arrive at this conclusion? By analyzing my typical thought processes for a standard week.
On Monday I inevitably am at least 10 minutes late to work every week. This launches me into the decision that my boss is secretly unhappy with my entire work ethic and my performance on the job but is just too nice to say anything to me. Although verbal affirmation and my last performance review would, in fact, give me glaring (shouting?) evidence to the contrary, I still somehow convince myself of this... every week. Now and then, upon my conclusion of this I go home and say something of the sort to hubs, at which point he rolls his eyes and points out all the contradicting evidence, which makes me feel better about it until Tuesday morning, when I decide, again, that my boss does in fact not like me although he has given me no indication of this whatsoever.
Following this decision, I therefore convince myself that every one in the upper levels of the office are equally (if not more so) unhappy with me and are therefore trying to make me quit by pulling last minute projects for me to do and seeing if I can get them done in time so that a) if it's not done they can fire me or b) I'll get so fed up with last minute or strange huge requests that I'll quit. And then I remember that they treat everybody the same way. Maybe they hate us all equally and want us all to quit, but I doubt it. Especially since they are generally nice, kind people.
I combat this by often eating lunch in my office so I can work on non-work related things (such as blogging, as I'm doing now), and yet it gives me the "dedicated employee" feel as I
refuse to leave my office to even eat. But then I convince myself that they are monitoring my internet activity ("Did she
really just buy those herbal supplements on Amazon? I wonder what they're for...") and have discovered that I'm really
not so dedicated that I refuse to leave my office for food but instead enjoy using my lunch break for personal gain. In fact, they are probably reading this post... I can picture them laughing as they read this post and rewind and watch again and again the image of me dropping mayonaise in my lap from the BLT that I'm eating right now that they recorded from the video surveillance camera they have, I am convinced, placed in my office.
Which leads me to my next point. Scott and I have recently acquired a rat in our attic with the coming of cold weather. We are working on having the vermin removed today. However, in the process of listening to him scratch and gnaw away at our ceiling, I started thinking that it
could be a pervert who has moved into our apartment and installed little peep-holes all over our ceiling and is watching me do things like sit on the couch in my pajamas and play The Sims on our Xbox for two hours on Saturday (seriously, you know what I mean). Upon bringing this up to hubs, he rolled his eyes and said, "Yeah. I think it has definitely been a
person gnawing on the ceiling." Hubs probably thinks that I gave up the idea that there is a person in our attic, because most normal people would. But don't forget my proposal... that I think I'm crazy. While I
am convinced that people do not try to chew through the ceiling while we sleep at night, I still am slightly hanging out by the phone today waiting the call from the apartment people saying "Oh my gosh! There's a pervert in your attic!"
So considering the evidence, I think it's safe to say that I am crazy, even if at an indescernible level. The good news is, none of these things
consume my thoughts, they are just passing whims in my subconscious that I frequently reopen in conscious thought (thank you Freud).
However, if you hear of a pervert living in the attic of a three story apartment complex in Dallas, I just want everybody to know that I was right.
