identity as an act of submission

Marriage does strange things to a person. It brings up thoughts that you've never thought before, highlights sin patterns that have remained unnoticed (or even dormant) waiting for the perfect opportunity to attack your spouse (sometimes seemingly completely apart from your own will!), and many other strange phenomena that you never knew you were capable of. But it can also bring to the forefront spiritual applications that were never evident until marriage drew such clear correlations for you.

One of these that has become abundantly clear to me is that of identity. Especially as that for a bride. I've had something of an identity crisis for the last few weeks as I abandon the last name I've known since birth (and been able to spell since I was 16) for a new last name, that of my husband. While I am greatly excited by this new life, and the symbol of that life being the abandonment of my last name for his, it incited feelings I never expected. Feelings of loss, even a little grief, frustration... at times I look at my new name spelled out on a work document or such and think "who is that person???" In some ways I desire to cling to the safety of that old last name, as I've known myself as that person for so long.

The struggle I've been experiencing called to mind a deeper struggle of identity that I've faced (and am facing), as are many of you. That of the transition into being the Bride of Christ. 1 Corinthian 5:17 says, "Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"

Abundantly good words, packed with meaning for those of us who have surrendered our lives to Christ. We have died to the old self and been reborn as someone entirely new, a member of Christ's church, His very bride. Along with that, we have changed our "name," we are no longer associated with that life of sin we lived but now have a new life which was given to us by Christ. We now have Christ's family name. Just like I now, in the physical sense, have Scott's family name.

This creates an identity crisis like no other. Christ asks that we no longer be associated with that old "family" that we were born into, the family of sin, but to instead take on His family and His name. And just like taking Scott's name, my taking Christ's name is an act of submission.

I submit to my husband, and the outward symbol of that submission is my being called a Mitchell. I am under his headship, I look to him above anyone else on earth for my spiritual and physical guidance. He has given me his name, and I willingly follow him.

Christ has chosen me as his bride, and He has given me His name as a Christian. I submit to Him willingly, and He conforms me into His family. Now, if I could just stop holding on to the name I was born with...